


I Ain't In Love With Your Hair

by Bluebird_Rose



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Growing Old, Hair, M/M, Old Men Thorki, They are also co-kings, Thor Loves Loki So Much, frank discussions of toilet habits, genderqueer Loki, loki also loves thor so much, one (1) handjob, soft, they are also brothers, they contain multitudes, thor and loki are married
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:48:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25839844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluebird_Rose/pseuds/Bluebird_Rose
Summary: Written for the Thorki GC Eggxchange as a gift for hardwareupgrade on twitter.Their prompt was "I could always use more old men thorki in my life but pls not too sad?" So here it is - a pile of old men thorki.Thor and Loki are disgustingly old and in love. I tried so many times to end this fic but Thor would not stop kissing his husband. There are so, so many kisses here.Title from Randy Travis' 1987 hit, Forever and Ever Amen.Alternate title: Un elote? Ah, no, es un Loki.
Relationships: Loki/Thor (Marvel)
Comments: 22
Kudos: 77
Collections: Best Thorkis, Thorki Eggxchange 2020





	I Ain't In Love With Your Hair

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hardwareupgrade](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hardwareupgrade/gifts).



_They say that time takes its toll on a body_  
_Makes the young girl's brown hair turn grey_  
_But honey, I don't care, I ain't in love with your hair_  
_And if it all fell out, well, I'd love you anyway_

\-----

Thor awoke as he usually did these days, under seven layers of blankets and sweating like a hog. His brother’s bony chin was digging into his soft pectoral, a small puddle of drool marking his usual place, and his arm draped over Thor’s round belly and held him close in a vice grip.

Thor lay there for a few moments, gathering his thoughts and cataloging his aches and pains. There was the usual bone-deep ache from Loki’s table-corner of a chin, but otherwise not too bad today.

“Loki,” he whispered quietly, shifting his torso a bit to rouse him. “Loki, it’s morning.”

“Ngghghfff,” groaned Loki. “How dare you, you cretin.”

“Loki,” he whispered again. “Get off me, I have to piss.”

Loki gingerly rolled off him, careful of his bad hip. At their age it took a little time to get up and moving in the mornings, but they both understood that the call of nature was not one to be ignored. As soon as Thor left the bed he wrapped the blankets around himself, cocooning up in his usual blanket wrap.

“Not much on the schedule today. Court in the morning, then maybe a walk around the gardens, and dinner with Gladys and the girls this evening,” Thor called from the bathroom.

“You nasty fuck, don’t yell at me while you’re taking a piss. Have some decorum! Shut the door! I can feel a cloud of your piss particles settling over me!” came Loki’s reedy reply, muffled from under the blanket pile.

Thor snorted, shaking off and washing his hands.

He came back into the bedroom to find Loki still cocooned up, a sleepy ball of blankets and outrage.

“You know, this is why I insisted we have separate bathrooms,” muttered Loki.

“Oh yeah, it’s not because your bottles and jars took over all the counter space and you got mad at me for rearranging them to get to my razor.”

“I have a PROCEDURE and it is VITAL that my products stay in ORDER or the whole system is thrown off and I get FRIZZY and HIDEOUS, Thor. This has been explained to you many times.”

“Well, you might want to get up and start the procedure if we are going to make it to court before noon.”

Loki let out a deep, heartfelt groan. Thor gently reached out and began the process of unwrapping Loki from his layers, one blanket at a time until Loki’s head was revealed, the buttered elote at the center of its husk jacket. His wrinkled face and mussed white hair shone in the early morning sunlight, and Thor was transfixed.

“There you are,” Thor whispered, leaning in to kiss Loki.

“I have not brushed my teeth! And neither have you! And I don’t have on any makeup! Get away!!” Loki shrieked, but with his arms still wrapped up he was no match for Thor’s kisses. Thor kissed every wrinkle he could find, so he was kissing for a while. Eventually Loki relented and ceased his wiggling, permitting the kisses as was his due. Finally, with a smacking MWAH to Loki’s beaky nose, Thor pulled back to start getting ready for court.

Loki struggled out of his blanket wrapping and hobbled off to his own bathroom to ready himself for the day, giving a pointed look to Thor as he carefully demonstrated shutting the bathroom door. 

He emerged a quick forty-five minutes later, hair sleek and shining, a curtain of snow. His face was delicately made up with only three colors on his eyelids, today’s lipstick dark and shining. He was dressed in his finest gauzy emerald dressing gown, the one Thor had gifted him two anniversaries ago, with the gold lace trim and the snakes winding sensuously across his lithe body. He hobbled to his dressing room and sat at his vanity, ready to order Thor about.

Thor, who had washed his face and beard, brushed his teeth, dressed, combed and tied up his hair, and had been reading some letters while waiting for Loki for the last forty minutes, was ready.

Luckily Loki had already laid out his outfit for today in his dressing closet, so Thor had only to help him wiggle into everything and lace it all up. He started with the underwear, a lacy but soft emerald green number that held everything in place while still emphasizing what lay beneath. Thor gave a little kiss to Loki’s knee as he pulled it in place, and Loki looked away, blushing. 

“If you are going to give me a kiss with every layer we will never leave this room.”

“Oh, a thousand pardons my king. I was just so moved by the sight of my beautiful husband I could not help but lay my lips upon his wrinkly knee.”

“You asshole. Get the leggings.”

Thor moved on to the leggings, a subtle charcoal grey that nonetheless had golden snakes embroidered around the ankles. They would be hidden under Loki’s boots, but they would both know they were there. He laced up the leggings and went to fetch a plain undershirt, light but still warm. Loki got chilly easily these days. Over that he layered a leather waist cincher (not that Loki needed it, but it was good support for his back), an armored overtunic in emerald green that fastened at the waist with a gold clasp, and a thick leather jacket, in a darker shade of green with gold accents, that went down to mid-calf. 

Thor knelt carefully to pull on Loki’s boots, grunting a little, taking his time lacing them up. When he tied off the last lace, Loki reached down and placed a cool palm on his jaw over his neatly trimmed beard, tilting his head upwards for a gentle kiss. 

“Thank you, brother.”

“My pleasure, Loki.”

Loki gifted him with a smile, then turned to his vanity to begin applying his jewelry. He slid several rings on his fingers, to join the one that he never took off. He also layered on a few bracelets and bangles, including Thor’s favorite, a thick snake bangle with eyes made from precious gems he had picked up on Vanaheim for their 56th anniversary. He limited himself to a tasteful two pairs of earrings and an ear cuff, one pair which dangled low framing his long, wrinkled but still beautiful neck. Loki also added a single comb and a modest three pins to his shining white hair, but stopped there, giving himself one final look in the mirror.

“Well, no use gilding the lily. Let’s go, Thor,” Loki said at last.

Thor offered his arm to Loki, who took it as a matter of course, gathered up his snake-headed cane, and they left their chambers for court.

\-----

After a long morning of listening to petitioners and councilmen, Loki was barely hanging on. Thor had been sitting in his royal throne next to Loki’s equally opulent royal throne all morning, looking kingly and beefy and In Charge with his silver-gold hair shining in the sunbeams, perhaps less than there had been in his youth but no less beautiful, his brow all Furrowed and Serious as he occasionally lifted a thick arm up and stroked his beard with a strong hand in contemplation and Loki was at the end of his rope.

“Hmm, that is a conundrum. Perhaps the shepherds could be persuaded to only graze their flocks at Creek Bend every third year, allowing time for the land to recover before moving through again?” His hand continued to stroke through his beard as he considered the issue, like an asshole. “Then the farmers could-”

“Thor.”

Instantly Thor’s attention was focused on Loki, hand still resting on his damn beard.

“A fine idea, let it be done. Shepherds, every three years. Creek. And let court be adjourned for the day,” Loki said.

“...Well members of the court, as my husband says. If there are no other pressing matters to be heard today, I believe we can adjourn. Thank you for your time.”

The petitioners and members of the court filed out of the throne room all too slowly for Loki’s taste, but eventually they were gone and the doors were closed behind them.

“You ass.”

“What?” Thor asked, sounding genuinely puzzled.

“Don’t you use that ‘genuinely puzzled’ tone at me. Sitting there, stroking your beard, like you didn’t know what you were doing. In front of everyone. Just. Beard touching.” 

Loki stood from his throne, steadying himself on the arm, before moving over to Thor’s throne and sitting in his lap. Thor, quite accustomed to suddenly having a bony ass dumped in his soft lap, absorbed the blow with only the slightest of winces.

“I really do not knOW!” he said with a gasp, as Loki grabbed his cock through his breeches.

“Oh, you don’t know, do you? You don’t know what you are doing when you run your fingers through your beard 37 times? I counted, Thor.” Loki suddenly unlaced Thor’s breeches and pulled him out, continuing to rant as he jerked him off. “Also you glanced over at Gladys once, and she gave you a Coquettish Fan Wave, don’t think I didn’t notice. I also noticed her sad paste jewelry and ragged fan edge, how dare she show up in OUR court like that, GLADYS. She knows what she was trying to do, looking like a desperate shameless hussy! She practically undressed you with her eyes, Thor! In the Throne Room!”

“As compared to literally undressing me in the Throne Room,” Thor said pointedly.

“Shut up. Shut up. You are not undressed, your dick is just out a little bit. And how DARE you criticize me while I am jerking you off!”

“I’m not criticizing you! You are beautiful and correct as ever, my dear Loki. What will you have me do to Gladys, for this insult? Removed from court?”

“As if I would trust that snake out of my sight. She’s wily, Thor, and cannot be permitted to slither about unseen in the shadows while we rule.”

“I hardly think she will be slithering about anywhere, she - oh, oh - has used a walker since that unfortunate slip she had last winter...”

“Why are you talking about Gladys as I jerk you off, brother? You just can’t WAIT for any opportunity to bring up Gladys and her poor slip and fall that was None Of My Fault, as you agreed at the time.”

“Yes, Loki. Completely innocent, oh, don’t stop,” Thor gasped out. He reached out a strong hand and pulled Loki toward him by the nape, resting their foreheads together as he panted. A few strands of Loki’s long white hair had escaped from his updo, framing his face and fluttering with each of Thor’s breaths.

“Yes, brother, you like that? You like the feel of my rings on your cock? Gladys, I noticed today, has no rings at all on her poor shriveled hands. Sure, she says it is the arthritis but Bonnie said that she was talking to Eleanor the other week and she said that Gladys has only mild arthritis at best, and that her ringless fingers are a scheme to have her gentlemen callers notice and buy her rings to cover her sad fingers, but I know that will never happen because Dorothy-”

“Oh, oh Loki-”

“Oh, don’t get it on my jacket!”

Thor sat and panted for a bit, his broad palm still warm on Loki’s neck. Loki gave him a soft kiss on his lined forehead. “You remember how it used to be when we were young, brother? I would ride you like a stallion on this very throne, and the halls would ring with our cries morning and night. I can’t exactly ride you with my hip these days, but my hands are still as dexterous as ever, at least.” He reached into Thor’s pocket and whipped out his handkerchief, using it to wipe off his jacket. “I knew the leather was a good choice, it just wipes right off.”

\-----

That afternoon they went for a turn around the garden, the warmth of the spring day setting into their old bones. Loki leaned heavily upon his snake cane, his limp more pronounced after throwing himself into Thor’s lap today, and Thor followed carefully behind and to the left of him to catch him if he stumbled. Loki swore that he would NEVER resort to a walker like some of those Shameless Court Hussies who Would Not Be Named, and Thor respected his wishes. He felt a twinge of guilt for all the times he had thoughtlessly thrown his brother’s body around like a sack of feed, including the last time that left his femur shattered, but none of them could go back to the past. He just stayed by Loki’s side, ready to lend a hand if needed, listening to his brother and enjoying the warm summer day and the flowers in their mother’s garden.

“...and then he said to me, ‘But Loki, I have loved you for all of my days! Please, hear my plea!’ like an idiot.”

“What?”

“And then I said to him, Thor and I are MARRIED and that is a vow for LIFE you cad, unhand my gauzy and slightly translucent wrap before I am forced to slap you with the hand that has more rings on it!”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, and then he had the NERVE to tell me, ‘That doesn’t matter to me King Loki, Thor would never know of our dalliance and I would keep it a secret to my dying day, if only you would give me a single kiss, my king.”

“Oh my god.”

“Right? So then I slapped him with my heavily ringed hand but he turned into a jar of teeth that somehow were my own teeth and I screamed, but then I woke up.”

“That’s wild.”

“Right?”

Thor could not stand it anymore and leaned in to give his brother a gentle kiss, careful not to smudge his lipstick. “Well I’m so glad you chose me over the suitor in your dreams who was also somehow a jar of your own teeth.”

“Me too. He didn’t even have a dick I bet.”

“I bet.”

\-----

After dinner that evening they retired to their rooms, full and cozy. Loki went to his dressing room and removed his jewelry while Thor helped him undress, kissing each new patch of skin that was revealed. Loki was so beautiful, being covered up all day only made Thor more hungry to see him in full at the end of the day. His thin skin was so soft, Thor got lost in kissing his nape gently until Loki pushed him away and pulled out the rest of his hair pins.

Thor brought him one of his gauzy overrobes, a red one patterned with gold lightning bolts and hammers Thor had bought him for his last birthday. He helped Loki tie it closed and followed him as he went to his bathroom to take off his makeup. He watched hungrily as Loki tied back his hair, then started using a soft cloth to remove the color from his eyes and lips. “I got you something,” he said softly.

“A present? For me? You spoil me,” Loki said with a sly smile, a small smear of dark color remaining at the edge of his lip. 

Thor hurried into their bedroom and pulled out the package from his bedside table where he had hidden it last night. He brought it back to Loki’s bathroom where he found Loki trying to hop up on the counter. He dropped the package by the side of the sink and quickly moved to Loki’s side, helping him up to sit on the counter. “Oh no, I wanted to surprise with a Sexy Pose,” Loki pouted. He extended one leg anyway, pointing his toes and throwing back his robe to expose the leg up to his hip. He gave a little wiggle, showing off.

“And you did, brother. Always the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen,” Thor said softly, leaving a series of kisses from his ankle to his hip. He reached up to untie Loki’s robes and got his hand swatted away.

“Present first!” Loki demanded, and Thor was happy to comply. He retrieved the package from where it lay on the other side of the counter and passed it to Loki, who took his time gently untying the gold ribbon that held the green box closed. He opened it to reveal a small vial of oil, glittering faintly. 

“Oh Thor, you didn’t! Is this -”

“Yes, your rare hair oil. I know how much you love Alfheim oil and your last bottle ran out a month ago. I talked with our contacts on Alfheim and got you a refill.”

“Oh, I love it.” He leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to Thor’s lips, and Thor melted into it. “Help me apply some? Just a drop, it is so powerful it only-”

“Yes, I know, it only needs a single drop.”

“Don’t interrupt me.”

Thor snorted and plucked the vial from the box, unstoppering it and pouring a single drop into his open palm. He rubbed his palms together, then ran them through Loki’s soft, snow white hair, focusing on the ends and massaging the roots. He worked the oil through all the strands until they were soft as butter, then picked up a comb from Loki’s messy counter and ran it through his hair, gently working out the snarls. Finally he ran his hands through one more time, smoothing down the hair and feeling how soft it was, massaging Loki’s temples where the tension liked to build, just feeling the texture and enjoying being close to his brother.

“You are going to rub me bald, like you.”

“I’m not bald, I still have a little hair,” Thor laughed. “And my beard is as full as ever.”

“You and your damn beard,” Loki muttered, relaxed and sleepy.

“Let’s go to bed, brother,” said Thor softly.

“Can’t. I’m just going to snuggle into your chest right here. You will have to stand up all night and keep me from falling into the sink. Do your duty, brother.”

Thor gave a little snort, then moved Loki’s arms around his neck. He shifted to the side and slid his hands under Loki’s thighs and back and gave a little heave, lifting him into his arms in a bridal carry while being careful of his bad leg. Thor might be long past his youth, but he would never be too old to carry his sleepy little brother to bed.

He lay him in bed gently and arranged his robe around him carefully before layering him in blankets. Loki got chilly so easily these days, and Thor would suffer a thousand sweaty nights if it meant Loki didn’t have to suffer and shiver alone. He slid into bed beside him, and Loki quickly attached himself to Thor like a limpet, sharp chin digging into its usual spot on his breast.

“Goodnight Loki,” Thor mumbled, running his hands through Loki’s soft hair one last time.

“Quit trying to make me bald, Thor,” muttered Loki, already half asleep.

“Never,” said Thor, kissing his little brother’s forehead one time before falling asleep himself, his hand still nestled in Loki’s soft hair.


End file.
